Day #31 of the Omer Counting: Surrendering to a Life of Compassion

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Today is the 31st day of the Omer, and the rabbis invite us to focus our spiritual reflection on the ways we can integrate the following two Divine sefirot/attributes in our selves and in our world: Hod (humility/gratitude/surrender) with Tifereth (compassion/beauty/balance).

In what ways do we extend grace and compassion to others in such a way that we can create a sense of balance in a world that lacks it? Central to our ability to integrate these two qualities is the need to assume positive intent. Most of the problems in our human interactions: our (mis)communications and our (false) assumptions, our hurt and our missed opportunities, what we believe to be true.

What we believe to be true comes from the stories we tell ourselves and the assumptions we make are generally based upon societal expectations and previous experience- neither of which are based in accurate fact, nor are they beliefs that will lead us to a better future. What we believe to be true is often the result of trauma and bias.

For those of us who come from particularly unhealthy pasts, it can be helpful to examine our assumptions, and work on cultivating the exact opposite of our instincts, until we can rewire our brain, based upon new experiences that will be different than the ones that we have known. The only way to get somewhere new is to try something new.

Part of the surrender and humility of “hod” (the spiritual principle we are trying to cultivate) is to surrender our assumptions about ourselves and others. It is scary to live in a world where we don’t understand others and can’t make sense of what they do… but it is even MORE scary to live in a world that is as negative as many of us tell ourselves that it is.

It can feel awkward to let go of coping mechanisms that we believe keep us safe. Part of the process of this thorough moral and spiritual inventory of ourselves that we are asked to do between Passover and Omer, is to reexamine how constructive and helpful these beliefs have been, and to do what we can to heal ourselves and work for a better future for us all.

May today help us to cultivate the practice of assuming positive intent. When we hear or experience someone who is doing or saying something hurtful, let’s try to simply ask: “the version of the story I am telling myself a out X is Y. Is this correct?”

When we don’t know and can’t ask, let’s try to infuse our thoughts with love and compassion. Let’s surrender our assumptions that others are (insert hurtful label here), and remember that we are all trying our best just to get by.

We are all struggling in a world filled with violence and cruelty. We all need compassion. May today help us to err on the side of compassion whenever there is pain. May the decisions that we make lead us to the world we wish to live in, as opposed to replicating the ones we have known.

Published by rabbi n siritsky

Originally from Montreal, Canada, I studied in Jerusalem at several Orthodox yeshivas, prior to beginning my studies as a Reform rabbi at Hebrew Union College. I am a second generation Holocaust survivor, and early on, wanted to do whatever I could to build a world where hatred and prejudice would never again have the upper hand. For me, studying Judaism from traditional perspectives was crucial because “it was important to understand what we are reforming”. I believe in making educated choices from the rich set of resources provided by Jewish tradition, in order to ensure that every ritual and prayer is meaningful. I was a founding board member of the Society of Classical Reform Judaism (now Roots of Reform), due to my unwavering commitment to advocacy for interfaith families and the creation of inclusive Jewish communities that are unconditionally welcoming of all spiritual seekers, regardless of their religious background, relationship status, identity or Hebrew speaking ability. In addition to nearly two decades working in synagogues, teaching, counseling and participating in life cycle events, I am also a social worker, psychotherapist, mediator and trained as an interfaith chaplain. I worked with the American Red Cross after 9/11, providing counseling and support at the family assistance center, Ground Zero and the morgue. My doctoral research was focused on burnout and compassion fatigue, as part of my years of work in hospice and palliative care. My life experiences have taught me hope and how to cultivate resilience and wisdom. This blog reflects my attempts to distill rabbinic wisdom into insights that can speak to all people. I have dedicated my life to healing and spiritual alchemy. I first began the writings that formed the basis of this blog as part of my role as Vice President of Mission for KentuckyOne Health, an interfaith hospital system that brought together Catholic, secular and Jewish hospital systems, in order to bring wellness, healing and hope to all, including the underserved. I began my weekly reflections on the Torah portion, in order to share some of Jewish Hospital's heritage and values with staff that may not have known much about Judaism. These reflections were then shared by staff with others who asked to be placed on my blind copy list, as well as by the system mission leader of Catholic Health Initiatives to his own reader list, along with his own reflections. I have been profoundly humbled by the reactions to these writings, and as more people have asked to have access to them, I eventually worked to overcome my discomfort with the internet in order to publish them online. I realized that Jews and non-Jews were drawn to my inclusive interpretations of the biblical text, and my reflections on how to apply these in our every day. I believe that, much like the Sufi teaching that describes all the religions of the world like different prayer beads, with the same string of truth that runs through each of them, so too can these ancient spiritual and mystical teachings can come to life, when we reflect on the echoes of other world traditions and by contemporary psychological theory. As my professional journey has continued to evolve, and I have found myself transitioning from pulpit rabbi to community rabbi, to who I am becoming as I seek to move beyond all labels, I have found that this site remains an important way for people to get to know me, and understand my theology. I am fundamentally committed to the sacred act of translation- seeking to discern the Divine through text and life, and to translate those words of Torah and wisdom into reflections that can speak to people of all faith traditions... and in so doing, hopefully encouraging others to do the same. We are all created in the Image of G!d, and as such, each of us has our own unique understanding of the Sacred. In the same way as the rabbis teach that if even one letter from the scroll of the Torah is missing, the entire Torah has lost its sacredness (is no longer kosher), so too is this world diminished so long as people silence themselves. For too long, organized religion has been used as a weapon, to keep people silent and to teach shame... my quest as a rabbi, and indeed, as a human being, is to work to translate religious teachings into redemptive and healing truths, to seek to liberate s/Spirit and to work toward "tikkun olam" (the healing of the universe). My current rabbinate is dedicated to teaching and mentoring other rabbis, and working with interfaith families, as well as those traditionally marginalized from mainstream Judaism. In the same way as the holiness of the Jewish prayer shawl (tallit) can be found in its fringes (tzitzit) so too do I believe that the most important contribution I can make to the Jewish people is "Keruv" (helping people find their way home), and to the broader world is "shleimut" (helping people to find wholeness). I also serve G!d as a social worker, doing what I can to work for justice for all people. It is my prayer that the insights in this blog will bring healing and insight to others, and encourage others to find their voice and path. Thank you for your time reading my work.

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